How to Make Living with a Roommate Easier

By Danielle Wirsansky on July 16, 2017

College is all about independence, freedom, and living your life the way you choose. However, it can also come with financial setbacks that make it hard to live your best (or dream) life. One compromise you might have to make in your quest for independence is to live with a roommate.

Whether you have been randomly assigned a roommate or are living with a friend, it can be difficult to live with another person. No matter who you are living with, there are always ways to make living with a roommate easier, so read on to learn how!

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Set guidelines

It does not matter if you are living with someone you know well or do not know at all — it is very important to set and establish guidelines about your living arrangements right away. You should not wait to set these rules up because if you let it go for a week or two, you and your roommate will already fall into a pattern and establish habits that might not be very conducive for a happy living arrangement further down the line.

Whatever is established in the beginning is what will continue down the line and you want to make sure that you are all on the same page. Who is going to do what chores? How often do said chores need to happen? Who can enter your living space? Do you want a guest curfew? There are so many questions to answer and establish so that both you and your roommate feel really comfortable in your shared space. It should be a safe space that both of you feel comfortable in and are happy to call home.

If you do not set the rules in place from the beginning, it will be harder to change habits and can cause resentment between the two of you which will only make the living situation harder. If your roommate has been bringing guests over late at night which makes you uncomfortable, it will be harder for you to let them know two weeks after they have started doing it that you want to set a rule about it.

Of course, it is always your prerogative to change or set a rule if something is occurring that makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home. Perhaps you did not contemplate the issue or did not think that it would affect you as it did. But if you really think through what kind of rules you want to establish ahead of time, it can make living with a roommate so much easier.

Follow the rules

Once you set the rules and establish guidelines, the next best piece of advice I can give you is to actually follow the rules. You yourself had a hand in creating them, so they should be to your satisfaction for the most part. Following the rules all the time might be annoying or irritating but consider this: how can you expect your roommate to follow the rules if you yourself do not even follow them?

If you want your roommate to follow the rules, then you must as well. Stepping away from the rules gives your roommate permission to do the same. And you set those rules up for a reason, right? Everyone deserves to feel safe and comfortable in their homes so if you want to get along with your roommate, you need to follow all the rules that you have established. When you do not follow the rules, you break your roommate’s trust and it will splinter and disintegrate whatever your relationship has to be until you resent each other, and that resentment can be very difficult to overcome.

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Get to know your roommate

Whether it is a stranger or a friend that you move in with, living with someone is a new experience and can change your relationship. You do not have to be best friends with your roommate but you should know each other well enough to understand, respect, and get along with each other.

You want to understand their perspective so that you understand their actions. Understanding each other can help clear up misunderstandings and miscommunications so that your interactions go more smoothly. Understanding leads to respect and leads away from resentment, which will corrode your relationship instead.

Get to know them in basic ways: Where do they come from? What do they study? Do they have any hobbies? Are they early birds or night owls? How do they feel about sharing dishes, foods, laundry detergent, or more?

Knowing these answers will help you understand your roommate better on a basic level so that you get along better and have an easy living arrangement with your roommate.

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